where I’m at right now.

Currently, I’m 1 hurricane, 1 huge Pyramid Hefeweizen, 1 stiff Margarita, and 1 tall Guinness into a 3 day weekend THAT, provided I get laid, looks pretty good.

Granted, I’m not ridiculous enough to be bragging about the amount of money I make pretending to be a professional anything but that’s alright with me.

How’s it go… you can take a girl out of the trailer park but you can’t take the…

never mind.

It embarrasses me tremendously to even think that I had affection for such a creature. For someone to be so delusional and… ugh. Shutting up now. Seriously.

WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!

Friday night buzzes kick ass.

That is all.

Oh dear God. I’m running around trying to be SuperWoman and a super woman… I am not. Seriously.

It’s only Tuesday and I swear it feels like Thursday. I don’t know how my kids (minus the youngest) are even functioning.

S.O. tries to take Deirdre to school in his work truck as often as possible. He made it yesterday, the first day of school, but not today since he had a meeting. That meant I had to take Deirdre which, in turn, meant waking Rowan up early which is NEVER a good thing. In a desperate move I pulled her out of bed, stood her up on her feet and made sure she was standing and ran out of the room to handle something else. Deirdre tried not to laugh as Rowan promptly marched into the wall while trying to walk out of the room.

While S.O.’s work load has tripled Princess Twatface is MIA (becoming her usual M.O. these days) making full-time pay for not even part-time work. Which, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about because if you can work out a sweet deal like that because daddy owns the company then good for you. Although, in the dad department mine kicks some total ass because he wouldn’t begin to tolerate that bullshit from either of his daughters.

Although, my dad also has a tendency to go overboard in that department and at one point wanted me to work for him but the requirements were that I had to CALL him Mr. [insert my maiden name here] which I looked at him and said, “Dude, I am pregnant with your THIRD grandchild. If you fuck with me I will call you Mr.ASSHOLE and insist all the other employees do so as well… you don’t want me calling you “dad” at work that’s cool, but let’s stop with the delusions of grandeur.” He backed down because I had become known as the “crazy, pregnant chick” around the office where I often stopped in to help out and manage websites and email, etc. for FREE.

But, I digress. Apologies.

I wouldn’t care about Princess Twatface’s sweet-ass deal except it doubles my husband’s work load. She can do 30% of her work AT HOME – but if she decides to call in sick (or whatever she wants to call it) she doesn’t do SHIT and it gets dumped in S.O.’s lap entirely.

She had my cousin call in sick for her last night. Yup. Meanwhile she’s on Facebook eliciting sympathy with numerous status updates of how deathly ill she is. She probably should have thought twice before asking someone to put her out of her misery – she clearly doesn’t remember I’m on her FB friend list.

Anyway, Julien’s first two days of college seemed to both inspire him and completely wear him out. He’s enthusiastic which is great but he also hasn’t cleaned his room, not so great.

Deirdre is up to her eyelids in advanced classes and working on the school paper… she’ll be in a coma by the weekend. Her bedroom is a nightmare and she’s barely managing to get through her chores (which are few I might add) after school. In fact, I think she missed most of them yesterday.

Rowan is slowly and I mean S-L-O-W-L-Y creeping back into school. Thank goodness she doesn’t have to start officially until THIS Monday but it would appear that my dreams of being a week ahead are dying a slow and agonizing death right before my very eyes. We completed one math lesson yesterday just in time to run to a bookstore to meet with her teacher (in our homeschool I am known as a lowly learning coach – she still has a teacher we meet with quarterly or some such nonsense) by the time we came home Rowan was super grumpy and starting to fall asleep. Today we have managed a phonics lesson… I don’t know what will happen to either of us when she realizes that she is back to a full school schedule with 5 subjects daily and an hour of Spanish.

Add in laundry, maintaining the house, OH and that pesky little thing known as our business and I just wasted waaaaay too much time writing this post.

Remember Princess Twatface? My cousin’s wife? The daughter of the owner of the company S.O. works for (that my mother’s boyfriend is supposedly buying out)? Well, Princess Twatface’s 19 year old son and his wife (shotgun wedding) just had a baby boy last week. Princess Twatface has taken off the last 2 weeks in anticipation of this baby’s arrival. She has taken far more than her vacation time AND CASHED OUT two weeks of vacation time on top of it, but I guess that is the perk of being the owner’s daughter.

She has the same position as S.O. she just watches over a different area. Part of their job is actually worked from home on the computer. But, instead of taking her laptop with her while she waited in the waiting room at the hospital – she had S.O. checking her stuff. Meanwhile she’s updating Facebook nonstop. Then she took the rest of the week off after the baby was born and today. She called S.O. a little while ago to tell him she is taking the rest of the week off because SHE has a circumcision coming up and doctor’s appointments for the baby.

Her son and daughter-in-law live with her. If I were that daughter-in-law I would be PISSED. This woman is posting pics of the baby, her with the baby, her son with the baby and refers to the baby (her grandson) as HER CHILD. Then posts pics of her son with the baby and says “my babies!” in the caption. There are loads of pictures of him with the baby, pics of the baby and HER with the baby but not a single picture has been posted of the MOTHER and the BABY.

Princess Twatface is the biggest drama queen I’ve ever encountered. It’s like she’s an adult who constantly has to make a big deal out of everything to prove how grown up she is.

My cousin (her husband) told S.O. last week that she was irritated with him for not taking time off of work to sit down at the hospital and wait for the baby to be born. He rolled his eyes… S.O. didn’t say anything.

But, here we are taking a PAY CUT and S.O. is doing his job and her job. Plus he got called out on Sunday for an emergency with his own stuff. And there she is cashing out vacation time and taking more time off (with pay) than she has on the books. Not to mention she’s acting like SHE is the one who had the baby.

One thing is for sure, I’m willing to bet this causes some massive problems with the daughter-in-law down the line. After all… Princess Twatface has tried for years to get pregnant including expensive fertility treatments – now she’s glommed onto this baby like it’s her own. Shades of “The Hand That Rocks The Cradle” here BIG time.

Here we go again… the Wicked Witch of the West (shortly to be turned into an acronym because I’m tired of saying my mom, my mother, etc.) or WW is on a warpath again. She’s emailing S.O. constantly for stupid reasons and of course, we know from my cousin’s wife that S.O. is the ONLY employee she harasses.

She has some lovely, pompous posts on her blog that contain little jabs here and there that, of course, only I would recognize.

Soooo, bankruptcy is over now I guess. Now we make our payments monthly and move on with our lives, I guess. I think… I’m not entirely sure since the credit union is arguing over the value of the car and now our car has to be appraised. Ha.

I keep trying to get out but this b/k thing keeps it’s claws firmly embedded and continues to drag me back in.

As any good neurotic would, I came home from court wound for sound as they say and proceeded to unleash the evil “Mommy Dragon” from her cage where I keep her carefully chained… most of the time.

Julien and I got into it. Deirdre was quiet, dodged the bullets and then came into my room later to watch Memphis Beat with me. Rowan, as always is completely oblivious for the most part. She prefers to think the world revolves around her and when something doesn’t coincide with that she ignores it.

Now it’s Thursday and S.O. is off until Wednesday. I’m actually excited about that as things have been much better lately. I’m looking forward to some family time, movies, etc. S.O. is calling it our “anti-vacation vacation” since we aren’t going anywhere.

Sunday is the 4th of July (duh!) and we decided to tone the party down a bit, keep the guests to a minimum and opt for an old-fashioned bbq with burgers, dogs, macaroni salad, chips, dips and homemade ice cream. We’re going to get a modest box of fireworks enjoy them in the front yard with our neighbors and then head back to the back yard to watch a movie and eat ice cream.

Of course, I’m not inviting my friend or her grabby, pig of a boyfriend this year either. And yes, they are still together. Still not even close to being engaged and she is still hanging on with all 10 fingernails. I haven’t spoken to her in over a year. She’s on my FB so I occasionally see pics of their rather trashy existence together. Blech. Really glad that both are gone.

The kids and I have been doing a late “spring cleaning” on the house. I just felt like I needed a change around here so furniture got moved, thrown out, and rearranged. I’m still working on some organizing and I need to get a good system down for Rowan since I’m going into the next year of home schooling well aware of what I’m in for. I finally got a filing cabinet drawer cleared out to dedicate just to Rowan’s school work! It should make things much easier for next year.

Of course, just as I start to reduce our business stuff and get used to the idea that our business is in a coma for the foreseeable future – a client calls. The phone hasn’t rang in two months and a client calls with an order. Not only that but he says he has two more next week. This particular client is as loyal as the day is long and S.O. has been his go-to guy any time he can actually choose his “go-to” person.

I don’t know how I feel about that. I know I should be grateful for the work (and money) and I am. I also acknowledge possible signs the Universe is throwing in my direction. Sometimes you get lucky and get bashed over the head with it and maybe that’s what this is… let me explain.

When we went to b/k court we saw one of the former head honchos for a BIG client we used to have – he was filing bankruptcy. We didn’t talk to him but it was bizarre to run into him when we practically NEVER run into any of our clients around town.

On the way out of bankruptcy court we got a call from the other client that we got the order from.

All of this was the day before our final data source (and our last regular bill for the business) was set to expire.

And then as we rounded the corner coming home we crossed paths with S.O.’s former boss at his job (the one he left to start our business) – the guy was always a weasel and he was obviously cutting through our neighborhood (his neighborhood is about 3 miles away) sneaking home from his current job on his lunch hour. Which, of course, reminded S.O. of why he left all that garbage to begin with.

I personally don’t believe in coincidences. I think coincidences are just a little nudge from above pointing you in a direction or confirming the direction you are going. We had a long talk… and while we have pared down our expenses tremendously, we have decided to keep the business running on just one step above life support. We’ll see what happens…

Princess Twatface and I have emailed via FB a couple of times. I almost feel guilty calling her that now. Almost. Ha!

I sent her my cell number to give to my cousin (her husband) and she replied back with his email address. Now that I think about it… hmm. Okay, whatever. I’m not going to read more into that. That would be silly.

Anyway, that was three days ago and I have yet to send off an email. I don’t know what to say. It seems like it should be very simple and I know what I would tell a friend to do, but it just feels awkward right now.

In other news, Scarlet.

Scarlet and her psychotic mother.

Her mother called her this morning to tell her that she had to vote, where to vote and what to vote for on what propositions. She did this as a direct command and expects Scarlet to follow it to the letter. She has this girl convinced of certain inaccuracies that are nearly unfathomable. She has Scarlet convinced that she personally called the DMV (dept. of motor vehicles) and with a simple call canceled Scarlet’s license. Not just “canceled” (which I am well aware that a parent can do to a minor – to a certain extent) but eradicated as if she NEVER had one.

I think we all know the government well enough to know that this is an improbable scenario. But no, Scarlet is convinced that she will now have to take driver’s ed, behind the wheel training, then take a written and a behind the wheel test in order to get her driver’s license again.

Her mother has her convinced that she knows everyone at the polling place and will know if Scarlet was there and if she followed orders.

Years and years of mental abuse and complete bullshit have convinced Scarlet that her mother is some omnipotent, all seeing, all knowing individual who can rain down a torrent of revenge at any given moment.

We have attempted to explain to her how things works. She believes that if she opens a bank account, reinstates her license, updates a resume that somehow her mother will receive a phone call alerting her to Scarlet’s every move and decision. And, no matter how many times we tell her or how we explain to her that she is 18 and that the world doesn’t work that way once you are 18… she looks at us with those huge brown eyes as if our 35 and 45 years of living, paying bills, taxes, and raising children has left us completely incapable of understanding or having any knowledge of how the world works.

It’s frustrating.

I’ve sat back and watched her go from relaxed and happy to tense and SICK after a phone call from her mother. Her mother called and caused a problem the night before last and since then Scarlet has barely been able to stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a time. She’s pale, her eyes have dark circles under them and all it took was a screaming hissy fit over the phone from that psychotic woman.

The woman uses Scarlet’s grandmother and brother against her. She has fudged on taxes, hidden money, taken money from her mother (Scarlet’s grandmother) and hidden in Scarlet’s bank account (Which she has full access to)… and holds all of it over Scarlet’s head. Scarlet can’t get financial aid because her mother refuses to give tax info for it, since Scarlet lives at home – she’s screwed. Scarlet is terrified to leave because she won’t be able to pay for school, she’s afraid if she leaves and attempts to get financial aid that the IRS will audit her mother and her mother will end up in jail and that will cause serious issues for her brother who is Deirdre’s age.

Believe me, I’ve been there, I’ve tried to talk to her, support her, listen, etc. Eventually, I am left staring at Scarlet stonewalling us because she has resigned herself to full-blown victim mode.

What worries me the most? What this will eventually do to Julien. If they get married he’ll be putting up with this woman for a very long time.

The school year is coming to a close. Julien and Scarlet are graduating. Deirdre will be a sophomore next year and Rowan has kindergarten graduation coming up.

Don’t get me started on kindergarten graduations. I’m not a big “every occasion needs a graduation” person. But, S.O. wants to take Rowan to the park (where they are having the graduation) so she can meet the other kids who are doing the same thing (home school) that she is.

I’m looking forward to summer. Only because it means less garbage going on, less opportunity to run into people we don’t want to run into. Less structure… less “have to be here now” and of course, by the end of summer I’ll be craving consistency and schedules and regular bedtimes.

Earlier this week my sister called to say she “had something” for Deirdre and Julien. She came over with two yearbooks roughly $150.00

My sister really doesn’t have that kind of money.

Also? That’s not really something she would do.

Where do we think the yearbooks came from?

Take a guess.

Given that they have that full page ad with pictures of my children and my brother’s not so cryptic senior quote?

Yeah. I’m guessing my mother got them and had my sister bring them over as if she had gotten them. My sister never claimed to have bought them (typical of her – lie of omission) and they weren’t gift wrapped or anything it was just “I have something for you.”

Is that how you give a gift you spent that much on?

Probably not.

S.O. is livid. It’s one thing if she wants to have a relationship with our mother. It’s quite another to do my mother’s dirty work.