I’ve spent two hellish weeks battling Julien’s school. Today Julien is snappy and mopey. He and I snapped a bit at each other in the kitchen today and really haven’t spoken since.

I vented to S.O. about it and he in turn got irritated. I probably should have just kept my mouth shut. Julien slept most of the afternoon… after the week he has had I don’t doubt he needed the rest. He woke up looking disoriented… like a 4 year old who has fallen asleep in the afternoon and has woken up after dark. That kind of ruffled, drowsy look.

He was still a tad grumpy. S.O. couldn’t take it and even though I asked him to back off, he decided to issue a very brief scolding and Julien went off to pout in his bedroom leaving Scarlet and another friend downstairs. The friend, Julien, and Scarlet had plans tonight to experiment with deep-frying some candy bars and things. I think Julien needed the silly break from the bullshit, but S.O. was fed up…

So, I’m back in front of my computer and S.O. wanted to know why I was in here instead of in the family room with him. He can’t understand that he’s made things uncomfortable now. That I don’t like the tension, that I can’t take it after the way the last week has gone. But, no, what I want or think or feel doesn’t matter. He was sick of it and that was all that mattered.

S.O. tried to argue it with me… and I asked him not to and I had to repeat myself over and over again until he finally just shrugged his shoulders and shot me a dirty look and left the room.

Yeah, it’s all my fault. Like always.

On a sidenote, our next door neighbors are moving. They moved in about a month before we did. We kind of watched the neighborhood finish around us and now they are leaving. They couldn’t modify their mortgage. They’ve already found a larger house somewhere else and they are young and have parents with money to help them. But, I’m bummed. I don’t even know why because we weren’t that close with them. I liked them a lot, I think I’ll like the next people less, but wouldn’t it be nice if that weren’t the case?

They were good neighbors. I’m sad to see them go… and it makes me wonder if it was worth the fight to keep this house, which of course it was, it’s just… they were my favorite neighbors and I hate change. There, I admit it. I’m like Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets.”

Okay, I’m not quite that bad, but you get the point.

What I’d like is to find a channel with actual black and white classic movies, I want to see Gable, Cooper, Stewart, and Bacall… except now the classic movie channels play the shit that was in the theaters when I was a toddler and that is kind of fucked in a sense.

Tonight, I don’t know what I want… other than another shot of tequila and another beer, that’ll do for now.